


Penny For Your Thoughts

by abigailmaedy



Series: The Snags [3]
Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-04
Updated: 2016-07-04
Packaged: 2018-07-19 23:24:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7381696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abigailmaedy/pseuds/abigailmaedy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Jake returned from undercover, he was a mess. Six months later, he was practically the same guy again thanks to Amy Santiago. But, after a murderer rapes and kills two teenage girls, it is the stress of the case and the PTSD Amy has been keeping under wraps for years that leads them to switch roles- this time, Jake must console her. </p><p>Takes place right after 1X22, except Teddy was never a question and Jake and Amy are already together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Penny For Your Thoughts

        “Okay Cap, lay it on me!” Jake clapped his hands together, palm rubbing against palm. “What do we got?” He wore a shit-eating grin and sat down in his chair, spinning once and then scooting forward, up to his desk. He caught Amy staring at him from hers, a half smile meeting up to her eyes. Jake knew it was nice for his friends to see all of the happiness back in his expression. When he had returned from undercover, he had been a mess, and it had taken six months back home for the man he was before to return. Even then, there were still many moments that only he and Amy knew about, where he woke up yelling in the middle of the night, ready to flee from or fight anyone who touched him, even her. But, for the most part, there was a wholeness to the current Jake Peralta, who still didn’t take wearing ties as seriously as he should and would likely never come to work on time if a pressing case wasn’t waiting for him. The foolishness didn’t seem to bother Amy anymore, or anyone really, except the captain. They were all just happy that he was back to being Jake.

       He and Amy had just closed a B & E, one of many, and Jake was feeling pumped for more. Fortunately, the captain had called them in for a new case. Holt gave Jake the kind of stern expression that a quiet father gives his rowdy son at the supermarket as he stared down at his two seated detectives, as if to say ‘keep it up and you won’t be getting dessert for a week’. “You two, my office.” Holt glanced from one detective to the other and then strolled back the way he'd come, Jake looking at Amy with something between excitement and confusion before following suit. "Shut the door.” Holt said, sitting at his desk and motioning for the two detectives to sit across from him.

       “What’s happenin’, detective?” Jake asked, a smile still on his face. He leaned back in his chair, his badge hanging down from his neck and sliding a bit as the chain moved.

       “I have a case that I need you for. Homicide has its hands full and the two of you are my best detectives. This is very sensitive so you need to show respect. Media will be involved if you don’t act fast.” Holt pulled a file from one of his drawers, opening it up and sliding it across his desk, photographs of a young girl right on the top. “This is Gabriella Young. She just graduated high school this past week and was found dead this morning. We are still waiting on the M.E. report but initial assessments look like murder and sexual assault. She was killed with a bullet to the head less than twenty-four hours ago. Her parents were just called in for a positive ID but she had her wallet on her.” Holt paused and eyed Amy, who clutched the arms of her chair and whose face was steeled. “I am assigning the two of you to this because you are a good team and you are capable. Don’t mess it up.”

       Jake wasn’t smiling anymore, but his mind had already started to buzz. _New case, new case, new case._  “You got it.” He went to pick up the file and Holt stopped him, instead standing and reaching across the desk to give it Amy.

       “I’d like to speak with you privately, Peralta.” Amy looked from Jake to Holt and nodded, taking the folder from the captain and speeding out of the room with heavy heel clicks. Jake sat back down, and motioned a thumb to her, ready to ask what was up when Holt started. “This case is going to be tough so I need you to be supportive. Watch each other. Be mindful.”

       Jake’s brows furrowed and he looked over his shoulder to where Amy sat at her desk, flipping through the file. “Captain, is there something I’m not getting here?” He looked back at Holt, who weaved his fingers together.

       “These types of cases are harder for some than they are for others. Just, be smart.” He motioned for Jake to leave and he did so with a furrowed brow.

       “Okay, whatever you say, sir.”   
________________________________

       Youth homicides _were_ hard. But what was even harder was when the homicide became a double homicide. After forty-eight consecutive hours of work, from interviewing family and friends to staring at the same evidence until everything had started to blur, Amy and Jake had really only made two discoveries: That Gabriella Young was not at the school Carnival the night she died, as her parents had been lead to believe, but at a party hosted by a boy named Malcolm Richer, and that she was not the only girl from that party to be found dead.

       After the first fifteen hours of interviews and research, the call had come in about a second body and sure enough, after twenty-eight more hours of the same hard work, it turned out that despite going to a different school than Gabriella Young and the other partygoers, Jasmine Olsen, age eighteen like their first victim, was also found dead in Prospect Park. Jake had never seen Amy truly angry before, angry the way he was able to get angry sometimes when he flashed back to his days undercover, until the day after Jasmine Olsen was found, when they received the M.E. report that the first and second girl had both been raped and murdered by the same person. In fact, the entire precinct was shocked to see Amy chuck first her stapler onto the ground with a frustrated yell, and then her mug, the ceramic cracking and what coffee was left from inside splattering across the floor. The squad froze, Boyle staring at Amy for just a second and then rushing forward to begin picking up the pieces while Amy stood frozen, eyes wide. “Oh my god. I-I’m so sorry. Boyle, I've got it. I’m so sorry.” She moved to bend and help him but he waved her off with a gentle smile.

       It didn’t take long for everyone to go back to what they were doing, to pretend that nothing had happened, as Charles cleaned up the mess and Jake dragged her outside to the roof. Once outside, she went into a panic, her breaths quick and shallow, her hands to her ears, and eyes squeezed shut as if she needed to make everything disappear. “I’m sorry!” she hissed over and over, hyperventilation not allowing for more than a whisper.

       Jake watched her for a moment, his own ribs tight at the image of his always-strong, always-capable partner losing it. Finally, he stepped forward, catching her mid stride and halting her paces. “Santiago.” He pulled her hands from her ears and gripped her shoulders until she looked up at him. “Santiago look at me, everything is fine. This is just another case and we’re going to solve it. It’s only been forty-eight hours.”

       “Those girls were so young, Jake.” Amy’s face was flushed and she took a step back from him with a deep, ragged breath, running shaky fingers through her own hair.

       Jake nodded. “I know. But their killer isn’t going to get away with it, as long as you keep your cool. Look, it’s almost noon and neither of us has slept in days. Let’s go home and get some rest so we don’t go any crazier. Just a few hours and we’ll come back.” He raised a brow at her and after a tentative stare and a pause, she nodded. Jake gave her a quick squeeze on the forehead and wrapped an arm over her shoulders, guiding the both of them back inside.   
________________________________

       Amy decided the only thing she needed more than sleep was a shower, and so bee-lined for the bathroom as soon they got home. Jake made for the bedroom, flopping onto the mattress with a groan, and closed his eyes. He listened as the shower curtain drew back and the faucet was turned, the water starting with a screech of pipes and then a gasp from Amy, who always got in before it was warm enough. There was a clatter of shampoo bottles and then a groan, followed by a string of curses. Jake sat up and reached into the coin jar on Amy’s nightstand with a sigh, sifting around while he waited for any other signs of life from the bathroom. After several seconds of silence, a quiet sob lead the way for a string of louder ones and Jake stood up.

       The doorknob creaked and a rush of cold air swept through the bathroom as Jake stepped in, shutting the door behind him and crossing the floor to pull aside the curtain and sit across from Amy on the outside of the tub. She didn’t look up or acknowledge him, continuing to cry and press her closed eyes against her hard knees. “I have this for you,” Jake said, grabbing Amy’s hand and putting something small into the palm of it. “Here.”

       Amy looked up, her lip still quivering, and stared into her hand. “I don’t think I can,” she whispered with another sob and sniffle, glancing up at Jake.

       Jake shrugged, offering her a sympathetic half smile. “Those are the rules.” Amy looked back down to her hand and at the coin resting in the middle of it with a sigh. “Penny for your thoughts.”

       It was something she and Jake had started back when he was just getting home from undercover. When he first returned, he didn’t want to tell anybody about his time there, about what he’d seen, heard, or done. He told some funny half truths (‘I smoked a whole cigar without puking’; ‘I was once in a room with ten guys all named Sal’; ‘I fixed a wrestling match’) but for a long time, was unwilling to tell the second half (‘The cigar belonged to a guy named Leonard. His brains were blown out right in front of me the next day’; ‘The ‘Sals’ were sex traffickers and I was there to make a purchase for a guy named Leo’; ‘The loser of that wrestling match died’) until Amy got fed up with watching the panic attacks get in the way of his life. So, when things were so bad that Amy felt she had to think on behalf of Jake and make him get something off of his chest, she would give him a penny and he would have to tell her what he was remembering from undercover that was triggering him, or giving him nightmares, or making him freeze on a case. For Jake, it was a relief to share without feeling like a nuisance. He could justify it and tell himself he was just doing Amy a favor. And he was in control because he knew the rules: only one penny per day, and whatever he said had to be the entire truth.

       “Okay, fine.” She looked up at Jake and rested the penny on the edge of the tub. “But I don’t want you thinking I’m weak, because I’m not.”

       “Amy Santiago isn't weak.” Jake made a check mark in the with his pointer finger, offering her a grin that fell flat.

       Amy stared at him a moment and then nodded. “Okay, well hear it goes. Uhh..." She took a breath. "When I was- Shit.” Amy wiped at her eyes. “When I was seventeen, my brother Josh threw a Halloween party at our house while our parents were away.” Amy stared up at the ceiling and bit her lip.

       Jake unzipped his jacket and shimmied it off, throwing the hood over his face and angling his arms obscurely. “Okay, I'm not Jake. I'm just a coat rack. Keep talking.” 

       Amy smiled, even though he couldn't see it, and looked down at her lap. “My brother’s friend Tony was there. He was my highschool crush. He was president of chemistry club and he was going to be valedictorian in his class.”

       “Just like me!” Jake teased.

       Amy poked, a half-hearted smirk on her face. “You’re better than he ever was. Anyway, it turned out, he liked me too.” The smile fell off of Amy’s face again and her brows furrowed as she began twiddling her thumbs. Jake’s stomach clenched as he started to gain an idea of where this story was going. “He offered me a vodka and lemonade and even though I’d never had more to drink than when I had a sip of wine at my cousin’s quinceanera, I drank it because I wanted to impress him. We were talking and laughing and I felt really special. He kept offering me drinks until I was just sad-drunk, and then he used it as a tactical advantage for us to ‘get some space’ in my room.” Amy threw up finger quotes.

      Jake pulled the hood off of his head, staring at Amy, whose face was a mix of embarrassment and anger. “Amy, you don't have to-”

     “He raped me, Jake. And I was so confused about the entire thing that I never reported it. And he got away. Now he’s just out there living his life and every time I hear about a sexual assault or we get a case like this, I think-” Amy’s lips were pursed, tears wellingand hands continuing to tremble. Jake grabbed hold of the one nearest him.

       “You load yourself up with pressure about stuff when you don’t have to, Santiago." Jake shrugged, "Even if Tony did commit these murders, it wouldn’t be your fault. He’s a bad guy and he’s responsible for his own crime-committing.” Jake watched Amy take a deep breath and exhale into a sob, leaning over the tub to rest her elbows on the cold porcelain. "You're not weak for this. Everyone has dumb stuff that make some cases bad. Boyle can't work cases involving food critics, Rosa can't work cases with kids because she scares them away, and I-" Jake paused, "You know about all of the dumb things that I can't look at anymore." 

       “I’m sorry I never told you.” She whispered, hiding her face in her palms. He sighed and after a moment of hesitation, rested his hand on her head, kissing her hair.

       “It’s all good, Santiago.” He kissed her again and leaned against the toilet, watching her breathing settle and her hair fall until it draped in all directions like a black sphere.

       "I still have to shave," she mumbled, not moving. 

       "Yeesh. Better get on that, Annie Jones." Jake teased, hoisting himself up, "I'll see you in bed for a hardcore nap fest in twenty." 

_______________________________

        _"Are you sure you're making the right call, Boss?" Jake asked, heart thrumming. Leo Ianucci scowled at him._

_"What the fuck do you mean am I sure? You got a business degree I don't know about?"  Leo's right-hand man, Mike, was counting cash beside the mob boss._

_"Hey, you know me. Just looking out for ya." Jake threw his hands up defensively and feigned a laugh._

_"Well shut the fuck up with it a minute, I'm tryna make a deal!" Leo smiled across the table at the 'Sals', who Jake was meeting for the first time. "Now watch and learn kid, cuz soon this'll be your job."_

_"You got it boss." Jake threw in a smile and Leo rolled his eyes._

_"We got somethin' special for you today, Leo." Sal #1, who sported an ugly salmon button-down and sat in the middle of his side, offered. "Fresh meat off the streets of Manhattan."_

_Leo raised a brow. "How special? Show me."_

_"Hey blue, bring her in." Salmon Sal called over his shoulder. The door behind him swung open and one of the biggest guys Jake had ever seen came in with a vice grip on the arm of a girl no older than seventeen. She was petite, and had an oval face marked with a bruise on her right cheek. She stared directly at Jake with big doe eyes, a curtain of dark brown hair hanging over over her shoulders. 'Help me', she mouthed. She looked so much like Amy. Jake averted his eyes, his stomach turning._

_"Nobody's helping you, honey!" Leo snorted. "But I got something nice for you if  you like." Leo unrolled a small baggy that had been stashed in his pocket, sliding it across the table. Cocaine._

_The girl scanned the room and then reached for the bag with a scoff. "Go fuck yourself." She tossed the bag back at Leo, powder flying everywhere._

_Leo laughed. Mike and Jake exchanged glances and Jake winced as Leo stood up, stepping around Jake and up to the girl, grabbing her by the hip and pulling her towards him. Jake watched in confusion as Mike slid the cash across the table with a sigh. It wasn't until Leo had his hand on the gun in his back pocket that it clicked._

_"No," Jake whispered, trying to stand. He was stuck. His limbs were frozen. "No!" He screamed. He tried to stand, tried to shake his way out of his chair, but to no avail. "Please! Amy!"_

_The girl in Leo's grip was no longer just a spitting image of his partner. Amy Santiago stared at him, bruise still on her eye, hair still strewn. "Jake! Jake!" She screamed. "Please, Jake! Don't let him do this to me! Don't let him!"_

_"I can't- I can't get up! A-" And then the trigger was pulled, a shot straight through the head. Jake stared. He watched her fall, listened as Leo laughed and laughed. Jake's head was pounding and there was a heaviness on his chest that increased until he couldn't breathe. Everything around him started to go black._

"Amy!" Jake wheezed. He jumped out of bed and spun around, scanning the room. 

       "Jake, it's okay. Look at me." Amy was sitting up, covered in blankets and smiling as reassuringly as she could at Peralta. "It's alright. It was just a dream." 

       Jake sighed, sitting down and then flopping onto his back. "God!" He growled, his heart pumping in his ears. "I'm a jackass," he muttered, running his hands down his face. 

       "Was it a memory?" Amy asked.

       Jake chortled, "It was a mix. Let's just head back to work. Okay?" 

       Amy nodded, pulling his hands away from his face. "Okay. I love you." 

       He shot her a half smile, pursing his lips like a fish and squeaking like an idiot when she kissed him. "I love you, too. Let's go arrest some people!" He faked a grin and she watched him cross the room with a sigh. 

________________________________

        They were back at the precinct by six, bags under their eyes slightly less baggy and fatigue slightly less maddening. Jake set down an enormous mug of coffee with a sigh. “Peralta, Santiago.” The captain chimed from the door of his office, “Major crimes is gaining an interest in your case. Do you have any new leads?”

        Jake ran a hand through his hair and looked through the photos in front of him once again, pulled off of Facebook from the party the girls had attended. “Gabriella and Jasmine aren’t in any pictures together, but this girl, Lisa, is in a few with Jasmine. They both competed in track and field. She might have been the one to invite Jasmine but she wasn’t home the last few times we’ve tried her. There’s still no connection that we’ve seen between Lisa and Gabriella and the Young’s claim that the girls aren’t friends.” He began to spin in his chair.

       “Perhaps they knew each other from somewhere that the parents weren’t aware of.” Holt looked from Peralta to Santiago, who had begun to scramble through the papers on her desk.

       “Wait, I just remembered something. Look.” She pulled up a photograph from Gabriella Young’s early high school years. “This is Lisa. I didn’t recognize her at first because of the weight.” In the photograph, a short, chubby girl laughed with their vic, clutching each other and grinning from ear to ear. Then, in a track photo taken years later, there she was again, front and center, only fifty pounds lighter and a couple of inches taller.

       Captain Holt nodded in approval, “Go check out this girl again.”  
____________________________

       Lisa lived off of her parent’s house in a separate studio on the opposite side of the same acre. Driving over, Jake found Amy not staring at the file in her hand as she would normally be, but out the window. “Hey, are you okay?” He asked. She continued to stare and it wasn’t until Jake’s hand on hers startled her that she turned to him.

       “Sorry, what?” She gave him an unconvincing smile.

       “Are you okay?” He asked again, “You’ve barely read the file.”

       Amy shook her head like her brain needed a kick start, “No, yeah, I’m good. I read it back at the precinct. I’m just thinking about the case.” She paused, looking over at him. “Do you need me to go over it with you?” 

      “No. No. I’m just,” He shrugged,”Kinda worried about you..” He tried to offer a smile but her nose scrunched up.

      “I’m sorry.” She quickly opened and shut the file, trying to make herself busy.

      “No, I just... I don’t know, I want you to remember that this case isn’t your fault, or whatever.” He had his eyes back on the road, and so missed her complete look of exasperation.

       She laughed nervously. “I’m fine, Jake. We already talked and I feel a lot better. I mean, sure it’s hard that they’re so young. And there’s pressure from everyone to wrap it up. And Captain Holt is watching us super closely, but I’m fine!”

       “Right..” Jake nodded, “And what you told me earlier…” Jake scratched his head, “There’s not like, anything else?”

       “One penny per day, Jake.” She cleared her throat, faking a smile, “I’m fine. Trust me.”

       “Okay,” He shot another smile her way, his heart thumping, “I do trust you. Just don’t forget I’m here for you for any feelzies.”

       Amy sighed, leaning further into her chair and turning back to the window.  
__________________________

       Fortunately there was a second driveway on the property, because despite having been there before, Jake had again misjudged the length of an acre.

       When they reached the door, Amy knocked first and a set of light footsteps sounded on the other side. The lock un-clicked and a slim, athletic-looking girl was waiting on the other side. “Yes?” She asked, peering past them to her parents’ house.

        “Lisa Detter?” Amy revealed her badge, “I’m detective Santiago and this is my partner detective Peralta. We’ve been trying to reach you for a few days.”

        “I was in Connecticut looking for apartments. Is this about Gabriella?” She asked, stepping aside and allowing the two to come inside.

        “Yeah actually,” Amy glanced at Jake, “You heard what happened?”

        Lisa nodded, “There were rumors. It was kind of a process of elimination but I think a lot of kids know.”

       That meant things were going to go public faster than they thought. Amy shot Jake another glance. _Shit._

       “Lisa, what can you tell us about your friendship with Ms. Young?” Jake grabbed the file from Amy and pulled out the photo of them laughing together. “It looks like you guys were pretty close.”

       Sighing, Lisa stepped past the detectives and shut her door, then motioned them both to her couch where the three sat down. “Okay, if I tell you this, my parents can’t find out. None of ours can.”

       Amy’s brows furrowed, “None of whose, Lisa?”

       “Mine, or Gabriella’s, or Jasmine’s.” The girl peered from Amy to Jake, “That’s why you’re here right? I heard a rumor there was a second body and I haven’t seen her since the other night. At first, I thought maybe she was just mourning, but-"

       “So Jasmine and and Gabriella were friends?” Amy had her notebook out, writing everything down while Jake asked the questions.

       “They were dating. I hooked them up last year. I saw Jasmine at a track meet and I recognized her from the LGBT meetings at the teen center. Look, none of our parents know any of us are gay. They wouldn’t understand. MaryAnne Prep is just a stupid Christian rich kid school that we all had to pretend at.” Lisa’s eyes were filling up with tears and Jake frowned.

        “Your secret is safe with us, but we need to know as much as possible. Did they leave the party together?” It wasn’t the first time teenagers had lied about their whereabouts and made cases harder on the two detectives.

       Lisa shrugged, “I went home before them. I was heading to New Haven in the morning.”

       “Do you have any pictures from the party or did they not let anyone take any?” Jake asked. Amy was still scribbling notes.

       “I took a few because they knew I wouldn’t out them. Here.” Lisa scrolled through her phone and handed it to Jake. There were about five photos of Jasmine and Gabriella together, laughing, kissing, and smiling. Jake began to notice the same face popping up in the background of each one.

       “Who’s that?” Jake asked, pointing to the lanky boy hovering with a drink in the back of the photos. He looked to be about twenty.

       “Oh,” Lisa scrunched her nose. “That’s Kevin. I don’t really know much about him but he’s kind of a weirdo. He’s got a crush on Gabriella.”

       “Kevin who?” Jake took the pad of paper and pen from Amy, swapping them with the phone.

       “I don’t know his last name. He always shows up to the party but I don’t really think anyone knows who he is. I know he tried to ask Jasmine and Gabriella out last year, but they both declined him. He’s creepy.”

       “Is it okay if I send these photos to my email, Lisa?” Amy asked. “I promise they won’t get leaked. But they could be pertinent to the investigation.”

       After a moment of hesitation, Lisa nodded. “Okay. Just, please protect them.”

       “I will,” Amy smiled. “I promise.”

       “Okay, thank you Lisa. You’ve done a really great job.” Jake exchanged contact information with her and shook her hand before standing up, patting Amy on the back and motioning the both of them towards the door. On the way to the car, Jake handed Amy her notepad. “We need to figure out who Kevin is, he could be our guy. Call and brief Holt. We’ll go back through the Facebook photos and see if we can pinpoint when he left.”  
_____________________________

       It was nearly ten o’clock by the time the detectives had narrowed down a time frame for when “Kevin” left the party. Amy was clicking intently through them for one last search and Jake watched her from his desk. She did seem better. Maybe he’d throw her another penny tomorrow just in case.

       “Peralta, any word on our suspect?” Holt asked, jacket slung in his arm and keys in his hand.

       “The party seemed to just go on all night, but he was gone by two o’clock and no earlier than twelve.” Jake took a swig of what was now cold coffee and gagged, spitting it into his trash can. He sat back up, making a face. “Anyway. Neither of our victims were in any photos after two, so this could be our guy.”

      “Do we know who he is yet?” Holt asked.

      “Not yet, we need to check the school records and see if he can be identified. We think he was older than the other students by a couple of years.” Jake ran his fingers through his hair.

      Holt nodded, “Good work. If you don’t ID him in the next two hours, go home and get some rest. You might have to go back through and knock on doors. Start in the morning. I’m going home.”

      Amy and Jake both chimed their ‘goodnight Captain’s to the departing officer and were ready to dive back into their work, when Rosa walked up, dropping a file on Jake’s desk. “You’re welcome.”

       Jake picked it up with a raised brow and flipped it open, leaning forward in his chair. “How-”

       “I may or may not have a friend that works at MaryAnne Prep. That’s the kid, right? Kevin Williams. He graduated three years ago.” Rosa looked from Jake to Amy, whose mouths were both agape. “Look, if either of you ever tell anyone I have a friend there, I swear-”

      “Thank you so much, Rosa.” Amy walked around her desk and hugged Rosa before she could protest. “This is amazing. You’ll get the credit you deserve.” She smiled, backing up and releasing the incredibly uncomfortable detective.

      Rosa shrugged, “I don’t care about that. Just catch this nasty piece of scum.” She cleared her throat, “Anyway, I was just waiting for that file to come through. I’m going home now.”

      She waved at Jake and Amy and stalked out towards the elevator. Amy sat back at her desk, reaching for the file Jake had just been given. He was busy typing away. “Williams doesn’t have any priors but his last known address is three blocks from Prospect Park. We need to get a warrant.”

      Amy sighed, “No judge is going to be cooperative this late. Let’s send a patrol car over there and we’ll get him in the morning.”

      Jake raised a brow, “Are you sure?”

      “We have to do this right. No slip-ups.” She began to gather her jacket and purse and Jake shrugged, gathering his own things and dialing as they walked.

      “I’ll call Holt and update him.” Jake whispered, ear to the phone. Amy nodded, a smile playing at the edge of her lips. Jake didn’t realize how tight his chest had been until that moment. They were going to catch their killer, and Amy was going to be okay.  
_____________________________

       Kevin lived in a fifth-story apartment three blocks from where Gabriella’s and Jasmine’s bodies were found. Amy and Jake were met there by the Captain and a backup squad car at seven o’clock, warrant on-hand. Jake and Amy went up alone, Holt waiting at the bottom of the elevator just in case. It took two minutes to reach the fifth story (the elevator was slow), and when they arrived, they were met first by a very quiet hallway. Creeping down to the door on the end, Jake knocked first. The two stood and waited, unsurprised when Kevin didn’t answer. They heard a thump from inside. “Kevin, this is NYPD, we’d like a word!”

      After a pause, three loud bangs erupted and holes chipped through the door. Jake and Amy hit the ground, taking cover, and then radio’d in to the police below. “He’s armed! Block all exits!” Amy shouted into the walkie-talkie. Another five shots whipped through the door, splintering the wood and hitting the frame just inches from Amy’s head. There was a click and a curse from the other side as something fell to the ground. “He dropped the magazine!” Jake and Amy both stood and Jake kicked the door until it busted open. On the other side, the suspect stood in the middle of his living room, hands up.

      The apartment smelled of bleach, a series of cleaners on the counter-top. “Spring cleaning?” Jake asked, his gun trained.

      Kevin’s face was red and covered in sweat. “I loved them!” He shouted. “All they were supposed to do was love me back!”

      Rage flared across Amy’s face and she stepped closer to him, her gun still trained. “You raped and killed two innocent girls!” Kevin took a step back and Amy’s finger moved closer to the trigger.

       “Amy, cuff him. He’s unarmed.” Jake was walking up behind her, slowly. “I know you’re mad, but we’ve got him.” He had his gun trained to the ground. “Hey, Santiago.” Jake raised a tentative hand to her shoulder and she looked up at him, tears streaming down her face. “It’s okay. He’s not going to hurt anybody else.” Kevin took another step back and Jake groaned, “Dude, stop backing up! There’s nowhere to go and you’ve pissed off my partner.”

       “I had to. I had to.” Kevin was shaking.

       So was Amy, “Do you know what it’s like to be raped? Do you know how it feels to wonder if you’re going to die?” Amy took another step towards him, and with a deep breath, closed the gap and spun him around, cuffing him and slamming him against the wall behind him in the process, to Jake’s relief. “Do you know what they do to rapists in prison?” She whispered, her lips nearly brushing against his ear.

      Jake stepped in, taking over, reading the killer his Miranda Rights. A thump and a set of heavy breaths sounded behind them, Captain Holt having scaled the stairs only to stop in the doorway when they turned around, staring at Amy and Jake. Jake froze, glancing at Amy who was too ashamed to look up. “I’ll take it from here,” Holt said, grabbing the suspect and shoving him forward through the mangled threshold. The Captain turned around to glance at Jake, and nodded towards Amy. Jake sighed.

      “Amy?” He took a step towards her and she collapsed, leaning into him. With a stumble, he caught her, wrapping his arms around her.

      “I was too close to this.” She blubbered through a wall of tears and shaking.

      “It’s okay. We’ve all gotten too close.”

      “I shouldn’t have taken the case!”

      “Amy, it’s okay. We have him. Holt is taking him to the precinct right now.” Jake ran his hand down her back, kissing the top of her head. “It’s okay. We did it.”

      “I could have killed him.” She whispered.

      “Nah,” Jake shrugged, “You aren’t that dirty. I mean occasionally you use the wrong color divider in your report-”

      Amy took a step back, wiping her eyes and staring up at Jake. “I never do that.”

      Jake nodded, “Oh yeah, that’s right. You’re a good cop.” He smiled, “You made the arrest, you caught him. Now stop blubbering so we can get back and do your favorite part.” Jake made jazz hands and slinked an arm over Amy’s shoulders, smiling down at her. “Paperwork!”

      With a sniff and something between a cough and a laugh, she nodded, swiping at her eyes once again and letting Jake walk her out.  
_____________________________

      Back at the precinct, Jake and Amy were called separately into Holt’s office. Kevin Williams confessed to everything, and a search of his home uncovered a drive full of photos and videos he'd taken of Jasmine and Gabriella doing everything from eating lunch to having sex. After his interrogation, he admitted to blackmailing the girls into coming to his home, where he raped them and shot them when they wouldn't admit to loving him. He killed Gabriella first and then Jasmine after, as "punishment" for "stealing Gabriella" from him. Amy had watched the interrogation from behind the glass, shaking.

       Jake sighed, typing up his report while he waited for Amy to finish with the captain. He didn't usually put this much effort into these, but he felt like he owed it to Santiago.

      The door to the Captain’s office opened and Amy sped out, shooting past everyone before they could stop to congratulate her. “Peralta, my office.” Holt called.

      Once inside, Jake couldn’t help but pace. “What just happened?” Jake motioned towards the now-closed door.

      “Sit down, Jake.” Holt went to his side of the desk and did just that, and after a moment of hesitation Jake sat across from him. “What do you know about Amy’s work as a detective prior to your partnership?

      Jake shrugged, “There wasn’t any. She transferred here right after her promotion.”

      Holt shook his head, “Wrong. She transferred two weeks after. She ran a case that went sideways at her former precinct, which lead her to transfer to the nine-nine.”

      “No,” Jake scoffed, “She would have told me about that.”

      “Would she?” Holt raised a brow and pointed his pen at the detective, “You have been less than open about your time undercover. Perhaps Amy has secrets that are too hard to share.”

     Jake sighed. _One penny at a time._ ”Fair enough.”

     Captain Holt leaned back in his chair, twirling the pen, “When Amy was first promoted, she was matched up with a less than adequate detective. A Scully, if you will.” Holt eyed Jake for a reaction and continued, “The first case to drop on her desk was a potential serial rapist, who was photographed drugging girls’ drinks. Amy wanted to get a warrant for the suspect’s property and arrest him, but the available judge was Robert Newman.”

     Jake groaned, “God, that guy is the worst. He never signs off for new detectives.”

     Holt jabbed a finger towards Jake. “Exactly. But, Amy’s captain really believed in her, so despite the lack of a warrant he approved her backup plan, an undercover operation. It was risky, but shouldn’t have gotten out of hand the way it did. Her partner was to wait in the car and keep eyes on the suspect’s vehicle.”

     Jake rubbed two hands down his face, “No, I know where this is going. Sir, no disrespect but should you be telling me this?”

     Holt nodded. “We discussed it. Amy went inside the bar, confident that her new partner would do his job. She managed to get her suspect’s attention, and allowed him to drug her drink. She ingested what she believed to be only a small amount of the substance. However, the drugs were stronger than she anticipated and she temporarily lost enough cognitive function to be unaware of the danger to her life until she had already reached his apartment. She had not been followed by Detective O’brien as planned.” Jake was pacing again, but Holt continued. “Her partner had fallen asleep in his vehicle, and Amy was left to fend for herself.”

       “Who found her?” Jake had to take a breath, leaning over his seat and gripping it.

      “O’brien woke up two hours after Amy was taken and used GPS to track her. By the time he arrived, she was unconscious, trapped beneath her assailant, and he was dead.” 

      Jake squatted down, resting his head in his palms, trying to fend off a panic attack. “Did he-”

       “No, he did not. He had her at knife point and she shot him before he could do anything. Her captain wanted to honor her for nearly sacrificing her life, but she… wanted to forget. So she transferred here, and was partnered with you.”

       “Why me? I’m an assclown. I was even worse eight years ago.” Jake sighed, sitting back in his chair.

       “As I understand it, your captain felt Amy needed to remember to enjoy the job. He felt you were most equipped to show her how. I believe you have.” Holt gave Jake a nod.

       “How did you find out about all of this?” 

      “When I first started,” Holt set his pen down and crossed his fingers, “Amy came to me and told me what had happened. She said that one day she hoped to be a captain, but that she felt she was too untethered to take on any special victims cases. So, I kept them off of your desks.”

       “But anyone of these could have skyrocketed her career.” Jake leaned forward, resting his hands on his knees.

      “I believe that until now, Amy would only have hurt her reputation. You saw how she composed herself. She nearly shot that man.” Holt shrugged, “But, she didn’t. You have been an amazing influence on her, and I felt she was ready. That’s why I gave her the case. Rumor has it, the nine-nine is in search of a new lieutenant, which means somebody will have to take up Terry’s position as Sergeant.”

       Jake’s eyes popped open, “Does she know?”

      “Know what?” Holt’s brows furrowed.

      Jake could only help but grin, “About the promotion! Is she going to take the test?”

     Holt nodded, “She knows about the promotion. But she’s not the one up for the job. When she heard about the promotion, she didn’t want it and I knew she wouldn’t.”

     “No, Amy has been wanting this since day one! She deserves this, she’s a great cop!” Jake threw up his arms in exasperation.

     “Yes, I agree. She’s very good. But, she has a long way to go and she and I both agreed, you’re better.” Holt smiled and pulled a form from his desk, sliding it across the table to Jake. “Apply for the exams, son.”

     Jake was in shock. His heart was beating, his face felt flushed and there was a burning behind his eyes. “No, I’m not supposed to be the one with the promotion. It’s her.”

     “Jacob,” Holt stood up and walked around his desk to kneel in front of Jake. “You are an ass, and you are not great at following the rules. But you’re an amazing leader and this precinct will benefit. Amy, will benefit. The two of you will still be partners, and perhaps soon she will also be a sergeant. I wouldn’t worry about her, she will make Captain and she will be a great one. But for now, she still has more to learn and she knows who her best teacher is.” 

     Jake laughed, staring down at the blank form. “But you’re her rabbi.”

    Holt patted Jake on the shoulder, “It takes more than one person to foster greatness. Now go home, I’m sure she’s there waiting.”

    Jake got up to leave with a fluttering chest, and at the last second turned to look back at the captain. “Sir, Amy mentioned something that happened eighteen years ago. Do you know anything about that?”

    Holt pursed his lips and shook his head, “Perhaps there are some secrets you know that I don’t.”

_____________________________

     Amy was waiting for him at the apartment as Holt had said. Jake could hear the running shower from across the otherwise quiet flat, and dropped his bag, placing the application on the countertop and crossing the room to knock softly, “Amy?”

      “It’s unlocked.” She called.

      The room was steamy, the mirror completely fogged and the temperature starkly different from the rest of the apartment. “Can I come in?” He asked, pulling off his shoes.

      The curtain pulled back and sitting in the tub, water spraying down on her, was Amy. “Sure,” She smiled.

       Jake smiled back and undressed, the hot water burning against his sensitive skin. He sat down across from her, out of reach from the spray. “Want me to wash your hair? I hear it’s the most romantic activity a couple can do with their hands.”

      Amy couldn’t help but giggle, grabbing the bottle to Jake’s surprise and handing it to him. “Woe me.”

     Jake clicked open the bottle, “Ah, passion fruit. How suiting.” He dumped what was probably too much into his palm and evened it out between two hands, running his fingers up from Amy’s scalp to the tips of her hair. She sighed, leaning into his hands. “Wow, I guess Charles was right.”

     Amy smirked. “So, sergeant, how was your talk with Captain Holt?” Amy wiped water off of her face as she spoke.

     Jake sighed, “I don’t understand why I’m getting this promotion.” He found a tangle and began to work through it as gently as possible.

     “Jake, you did more work on this case in three days than most people would do in a week, and you babysat me, and you caught the killer. You always put everything into your job and you pretend like it’s for fun, but it’s not. Nobody goes undercover for six months and sees what you’ve seen for fun. Nobody spends three days staring at photographs of murdered teenagers for the thrill.” Amy leaned her head further back into the spray and Jake began to rinse out the suds.

     “That’s not why I became a cop, though. I did it because I thought it would be this crazy adventure.” He confessed, running his hands down Amy’s back to get rid of the rest of the bubbles. She handed him the conditioner.

     “Maybe that’s why you started, but you became a detective at your first opportunity, and your record for felony arrests is amazing. You could be Scully and Hitchcock if you wanted, but you’re not. You really deserve this.” Amy’s hair felt like a million little worms to Jake, who had never used conditioner in his life.

      “You’re not jealous?” Jake tried to tease, but maybe he was serious. He felt weird about being at a different tier than her.

      Amy laughed, “No. I’m proud of you.”

     Jake grinned. “Thanks Santiago.”

     “So, what else did you and Holt talk about?” Amy asked.

      Jake paused, taking a deep breath. “He told me about your first case. You know, before you transferred.”

     She cleared her throat, “Right.”

     “Why didn’t you ever tell me?” Jake asked, finally getting to rinse the horrible slimy stuff out of Amy’s hair.

     She sighed, “Because I wasn’t ready to tell the truth, and I wanted it to be the truth when you found out.”

     “Captain told me the details-”

     “The report isn’t…” Amy took a deep breath, “The report isn’t actually accurate.”   

     “What? You wrote a dirty report?” Jake used the slipperiness of Amy’s frame to spin her around.

    Amy couldn’t look him in the eyes. “Everything is true, except, when I was trapped underneath him and I shot him, he wasn’t holding a knife. When he was carrying me in, I realized O’brien might not be coming at all, so I tried to think of a plan. My limbs were useless, my brain kept forgetting why I had to fight, and I didn’t have any way of articulating my feelings. He…” Amy took another breath, this one more ragged than the last and Jake grabbed her hand. That’s how comforting works, right? “He started undressing me and I remembered that I had my gun in my purse. I was laying on the bed, and he was on me. He was touching me, and I tried to say something about grabbing a condom from my bag, and he just kind of smiled. He was kissing my neck, and I was reaching for my purse, and the next thing I knew, I heard three gunshots. I don’t remember pulling the trigger, but I know I did. I had bruises to my collarbone afterwards from the whiplash, and he was dead. I started to scream and cry because I was trapped underneath him and I just kept thinking that I’d killed an unarmed man. And I looked over, and there was a pocket knife sitting on the bedside table.” Amy’s lip wobbled and she locked eyes with Jake for the first time since starting her story. “I put the knife in his hand, and I accidentally cut my neck in the process. The drugs, and his weight on me, and the smell of the blood knocked me out. I woke up in the hospital the next day with a scar, and that was it.”

     Jake scooted forward, tilting Amy’s head back to see that there was, in fact, a thin white line on her neck. It was bumpy to the touch. How many times had he kissed there and never noticed? He shook his head, “You were drugged and he had you trapped. You had no idea what types of diseases he carried or what he was willing to do with you when he was done. You didn’t murder anyone.”

    Amy nodded. “I know that now. But every time I think back to that case, I just think about how far I went.” She made a sound between a squeak and a hiccup, wiping tears off of her cheeks.

     “That’s the job.” Jake sighed.

     Amy smirked, the smile not meeting her eyes. “The thing is, I think that’s why I got into it. To hurt bad people. And that’s not right.”

     Jake didn’t say anything at first, only staring down at her and watching her try to push back tears. “Does all this have to do with what happened eighteen years ago?”

    Amy nodded, “I think I was looking for revenger wherever I could get it. I didn’t feel safe yet.”

     Jake scooted farther forward, kissing her forehead, “Not that you’re a damsel in distress, or whatever, but I hope you know I’ll always protect you. Even if I act like an idiot and I don’t say it as much as I should, I love you and I would probably hate myself forever if I ever let anything happen to you.”

     Amy pressed her face into the nape of Jake’s neck with a smile, “I know. I love you too.”  
______________________________

     Despite the insanity that was the last few days, Amy was typically a creature of predictability. So, that night, when she unplugged her alarm, Jake knew she would be rewarding herself for their hard work by being unrousable until noon the next day. They snuggled up and after she fell asleep, he put his own alarm on vibrate. He watched her by moonlight for awhile before closing his eyes, but it was nice to see her face so soft and her hair so crazy. She really was not a pretty sleeper, but he loved her. She tended to drool on pillows and snore halfway through the night. He kissed her on the forehead before rolling over and going to sleep.

     At six the next morning his alarm went off, and he slithered out of bed before Amy could wake. He was groggy, and although he was up, it wasn’t until he saw his clothes lying in a pile, ready to be worn that he remembered what he was doing up so goddamn early. He snuck a glance at Amy, who was still dead asleep, confirmed her alarm was off, and got dressed. He grabbed his wallet and keys and with a deep breath, tiptoed out of his apartment.

    When Jake was undercover, he had been given two main jobs- fix the computers, because that was not a mob boss specialty, and intimidate the guys who needed intimidating. He never would have pegged himself for a scary guy, but Leo had seen something in his humor that could be used as a weapon. “There’s nothin’ scarier than a funny guy with a short fuse.” He’d said. So Jake did his best, and found that Leo was right- he could be scary. He even developed a style. He would show up unannounced, play the part of somebody trustworthy, have a few laughs, relate a little, and snap. He never had to lay a finger on anyone. He never really had to go outside the law. It was enough to know that this seemingly nice guy was really a lunatic to make anyone willing to cross Leo Iannucci wonder who else was watching, what other smiling face was also a concealed weapon.” With a sigh, Jake stepped out of his car and looked up at his destination, an apartment complex in Bushwick. Man, this had been a treck.

     He pressed all of the buttons on the ground floor until somebody buzzed him in. The elevator was key-operated so he took the stairs. It was a short climb to the second story and he knocked on the door labeled 20A. He patted his phone, tucked away in his back pocket. After a few minutes, the door opened and a groggy looking guy no bigger than Jake stood on the other side. “Alvarez! How you doing man? Remember me?” Jake shook his hand and the confused man shook it back, “Jake, from high school!”

     “Uh, right, right. Hey man, what’re you… What’re you up to this early? It’s like seven.” The guy peered at his watch with an uncomfortable chuckle.

     “You know it’s a crazy story, Tony. I went home with this girl last night and I think my wallet got stolen on the way. Anyway my roommate’s coming to pick me up but traffic’s gonna take him forever- you know how it is- and I remembered you were living in the area. Santiago says hi, by the way!” Jake crossed his arms, smiling.

    Tony grinned. “Santiago? Josh Santiago? I haven’t seen that guy in ages! Why don’t you come in and wait man? I’ve got work at nine but I can put on some coffee.”

    “Sweet. Thanks!” Jake nodded, clapping Tony on the shoulder and following him into the apartment.

    Jake leaned against Tony’s counter while the man prepared coffee. “So, uh, jog my memory because I’m horrible with faces. What classes did we have together?”

    Jake leaned back with a laugh, “You saying you don’t remember me? We had gym together. You tried to make me join the soccer team but I didn’t make the cut!” _Thank god for research._

    Tony nodded, “Oh yeah, okay. Man a lot of guys went to those tryouts.”

    Jake nodded, “A lot of guys were bigger than me in high school, man.” Jake laughed.

    Tony laughed along, “Hey well you aren’t such a little guy anymore. What’re you doing nowadays?”

    Jake shrugged, “I’m a detective now. NYPD. It’s a rad gig.”

    “No shit? What a coincidence! I’m finishing up academy right now!” Tony laughed, leaning against the counter across from Jake, who was concealing clenched fists.

    “Hey congrats, man!” he grinned. “Guess you finally got the party days behind you!” he teased.

    Tony nodded, crossing his arms with a smile. “Yeah, It took me a long time. I just couldn’t grow out of the high school party phase, you know? I think I just worked so hard in high school I had to compensate by partying harder.”

    Jake nodded, “I totally get it. Did you end up going to Santiago’s halloween party senior year? That thing was off the hook. His little sister was there, such a hot piece of ass.” _Reminder: eat an entire bar of soap later._

     Tony smirked, “Want to know something funny?”

     Jake nodded. “Go for it.”

     “I got her super drunk and hooked up with her that night.” He laughed. “She was so plastered, I don’t think she’d ever done anything like that before.”

      “Classic!” Jake laughed. He reached into his back pocket for his phone, unlocking the screen and confirming that the recording was still going.

     “You’d be surprised what you can do if you just get a girl drunk and say some nice shit. Sometimes they’re butthurt the next morning but I’ve gotten so much pussy that way. College was a blast.” Tony turned to grab two coffee cups, filling them both as he continued. “Santiago’s baby sis was kind of a whiner but she was super hot once you got past the crying-” Jake paused the recording and smirked. 

     “You know what’s great about guys like you?” Jake asked, dropping the niceness. “It’s how willing you are to brag about raping girls. I mean, I walk in here, admit I’m a cop, and you still tell me all about how you got innocent girls drunk. Do you know what Amy Santiago’s up to these days?” Jake took a step forward. Tony was facing him now, eyes wide. He shook his head. “She’s one of the best detectives my precinct has. She’s been my partner on the force for eight years and we’ve been together for six months. I’ve been in love with her for years. She’s my best friend. So, imagine my surprise when she tells me she was raped by a guy named Tony back in high school. Imagine my surprise when she can barely hold it together on a case because the case involves two teenage girls who have been raped and murdered. So I did a little digging, I found out where you lived, read into your past, and thought I’d drop in for a visit as ‘your buddy Jake, from high school’. I was pissed,” Jake took a breath.”To hear you were joining the force. Amy doesn’t need you. The NYPD doesn’t need pieces of shit. Now I don’t know how you’ve gotten away with what you’ve been doing for the last two decades, but I’m watching you now. If I can come into your home, make nice with you, and tear your world down with an hour of prep, because you hurt Amy Santiago eighteen years ago, imagine what I will do if I don’t hear you’ve dropped out of the academy. And, if I ever catch you so much as smiling at a girl in a bar, this will make it into evidence and you will be on the top of my list of arrests.” Jake began to play the recording he had made of their conversation as he scooted past Tony to grab the cup of coffee he had been poured. “Thanks for this one, buddy! Have a terrible day!” He grinned, turning on his heel and leaving Tony standing paralyzed in his kitchen.

     On the way to his car, Jake made a call to Holt. “Jake, are you alright?”

     “What?” Jake’s brows furrowed, “I’m fine, why?”

     “You’re calling me before noon on a day off.”

      Jake smirked, “I’m fine Captain. I have a case that I would like solved discreetly. Amy can’t know.”

     There was a pause. “What’s the case?”

     “I have a recorded confession by a serial rapist, but no available witnesses.” Jake sighed, looking back towards the apartment complex before getting in his Mustang. “And Captain, I’m going to take the test.”

     There was a huff from the other line, “Alright. Send me the recording and I’ll deal with it myself. And Jake?”

     “Yeah, sir?”

     “Good work.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I'm not sure whether this will become part of a series, but I may make a sister piece in which Jake has returned from undercover and Amy is comforting him. Either way, they will be able to be read interchangeably. If I got any canon details wrong or you catch any grammar/spelling errors, feel free to let me know and don't be shy! I am only interested in improving as a writer.


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